Sunday Morning with Hayden-- Shit Mittens

At the beginning of Hayden's life, there were just so many things to worry about that something as far in the future as toilet training wasn't even a blip on my radar.  As with any child, I knew that potty training would have to be addressed and that it would probably take longer for Hayden to get through the process. When Hayden was about 10 months old I heard from a friend who had an 8 year old son with Down Syndrome.  She was telling me about some of the challenges that they had faced, and she brought up the potty training issue.  More over, the fact that he had not conquered that milestone yet. What!! Something snapped in my head! I thought there had to be something more I could do than just wait for him to decide to use the toilet!

Now, since I had already trained four of my own kids and had helped with many other children that I have watched over the years, I felt confident that we could achieve this goal in a much more timely manner. So, that very day I pulled out an old potty seat from the basement and sat him on it. 

This wasn't his first time, but early on.

Hayden sat on the potty doing his business for years.

 By the time he was two years old, he had mastered walking, climbing and escaping through any barricade set before him. We kept working on the potty training.

So freakin cute!

His little feet didn't even touch the floor.

The problem was that he would never initiate when he had to go himself.  If I put him on the potty, chances are he would go.    I got pretty good at catching him when he made a "poop face".   I would quickly get him to the toilet and praise him for a job well done.  I thought this was a pretty big step!  I had high hopes of him being completely trained before he went to nursery school.  

I thought I had a pretty good handle on the potty training issue, until... Hayden decided to go it alone....

I wish I new the exact date, but looking back on it, it had to be around the time he was three years old.   He had mastered going up and down the stairs by crawling up and then scootching  down on his butt.  I was having a hell of a time keeping him off the stairs all day, so we had to put up a gate that we could latch at the bottom of the stairs.  It didn't take him long to figure out how to unlatch the gate.

One day he slipped away from me for a little bit. I actually had no idea that he had gone to the upstairs bathroom.  He must have tried to get on the potty himself.  He didn't quite make it.  He had removed his pull-up, but was too slow to climb on the seat and  pooped on the bathroom floor.  The evidence showed that he thought he would pick up the logs on the floor and put then in the toilet.  But when he touched it, it could have been the warmth or the texture, I am not sure which, but he decided to play with it for a bit. He smeared it all over his hands! Some on the floor and toilet, but mostly on his hands. When he was finished playing he decided he better find mama to help clean up his mess. I will never forget him calling me from the bottom of the stairs and his look of triumph when he held up his hands.  They were completely brown and fuzzy looking from the tips of his fingers to his wrists! At first I wasn't sure what he had gotten into. Then I realized what it was....SHIT MITTENS!

The best part was the brown streak that he left down the middle of each and every step of the cream colored carpet on the stairs.

By the time Hayden was four, I hated the thoughts of sending him off to nursery school still wearing pull-ups. Of course the school was use to this with special needs kids and didn't think it was a big deal at all. But I somehow felt that I had failed. I mean we had been at this for so long! He knew what to do, but he was not trust worthy to do it on his own. 

I thought for sure he would be trained before kindergarten.

Close, but still unreliable. 

The staff there implemented a toileting plan that seemed to work during school hours. As soon as he got home, it was a different story. He was pooping on the potty daily, but would pee without notice. We tried underwear, underwear inside pull ups, underwear and plastic pants.  Nothing seemed to make a difference.

Now Hayden is six and a half.  This week something just seemed to click.  We were out of pull-ups and the thought of having to keep buying them was totally annoying!  I told Hayden that they were all gone and he had to wear the "big boy underwear" all day.  He agreed to try hard to stay dry and left for school.  I sent his teacher a note of warning and extra changes of clothing.  Low and behold.... he came home in the same clothes he was wearing when he left that morning!!!  I am pleased to announce that he has been doing well all week! He even told me he had to go pee today in Target.  He went in the stall by himself, I heard him go, and when he came out he washed his hands!   I am one proud mama!